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|  | Need advice? Don't think twice. Ask Dear Cabby.
In life, in love in labor, or just plain lost, Dear Cabby will help you get where you think you should be. All alone, don't postpone, ask Dear Cabby. Dear Cabby is a practical, mostly fun, free advice service.
Email your questions to nycabbie@nycabbie.com . We will add them to the these pages. |  |
| Dear Cabby,
I'm a 14 year old teenage girl. I have a lot of friends, most of them are terrific, but I'm afraid of losing them. I even have a best friend, but I'm worried that one day they are going to lose interest in me. How do I maintain my friendships with them?
wanting to learn how to be a friend
Positive thinking produces positive results.
Negative thinking produces negative results.
Fear and worry are useless. Think back to all those things you feared or worried about.
How many of those fears or worries became a reality? Probably none.
Many unexpected things happen to us in life but they are seldom the things we feared or worried about.
Eliminate the words "I'm worried," or "I'm afraid" from your consciousness and you'll discover a whole new freedom in your life. Plus, people are attracted to positive thinking people and repulsed by those people who are always thinking and expressing negative thoughts.
If you keep your thinking and the expression of your thoughts on a positive note you will always have friends. And, since like attracts like. You will begin attracting only those people who are positive thinking people making life a much more pleasant experience for you and your friends.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
I love this girl in class. She doesn't know I do. I have been trying to choose between telling her and not telling her for almost a year! I am afraid that she would reject me if I tell her. I am also quite worried that others would despise her if she accepts me. Please help me. I am really confused about this, since it is the first time I fell in love with someone. Please do take note that I am only thirteen. Help me, but please do give the girl extra benefits.
How do you expect this girl to love you when you don't even love yourself.
First: Work on a positive self-image!
Second: Work on your self confidence!
Third: Love yourself!!!
After you've accomplished those three things you'll be surprised and amazed at how girls will respond to you.
And, if you happen to be rejected (as everyone is at one time or another) you won't care because when your happy with yourself and you love yourself you will always have your best friend in the world - you.
MLK
NYCabbie
hello
im 18 and still a virgin. everytime that me and some girlfriends of mine go out they get hooked up while im stuck w/ nothing im always the one who gets left alone. my friends say they feel bad but then they ask how can i blame them. now all of my "guy" friends and "girl" friends are getting hooked up. what is so wrong w/ me that i cant land a guy??
Hello,
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Your friends are the ones with the problem.
Relationships built on sex are meaningless.
I suggest you find yourself a new group of friends who are more like you.
Once you do that you'll find someone you can love and who loves you. Love is what's important.
It's sort of like buying a car. Wouldn't you rather buy a new car that's never been used rather than one that's had several drivers.
MLK
NYCabbie
how do you know if a guy likes you?
If you DON'T KNOW he likes you; he probably doesn't.
MLK
NYCabbie
how do i get the guy i want?
By never letting him know that you want him.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
I was going out with this guy and he dumped me. It has been six monthes amd I can't stop think about him. I still have a major cruch on him. What should i do?
Thanks-
Kristen
Hello Kristen,
And, I'll bet this guy hasn't thought about you once in that six month period.
Write 500 times: It's Over. He doesn't care about me. It's time for me to Get A New Life.
If that doesn't work: Enter a 12 step program.
MLK
NYCabbie
HI
i'm michal from israel,i'm a student of grafis desine and suppose to desine an image ,a simbol for 3 cities,NY is one of them and i think somthing that conact the texis in NY is a good simbol like DAN-the bus company simbol our big city-TEL-AVIV anyway i wanted to know what you think -a love problem,anyway a love that end 2 month ago and since then i was in a 45 days trip, the guy took it quite hard that i'm going to have fun after we broke up and he's staying here with all his shity situation,he didnt call me to find out if i'm o.k on my trip or to wish me good trip (i was traveling indepandnly in india not a suitcase trip) and i wondar how he's doing but i'm to embarrased to call what do you think? forgive me about my bad sppeling, tank you,have a great day
Hi Michal,
Maybe it's time for both of you to admit to yourselves that you really care for each other.
Forget about the past mistakes that led to the break-up in the first place (forgetting little hurts is important to healing a relationship/friendship- just forget them and don't dwell on them or bring them up again.)
Instead of a phone call I suggest you write him a note. But, don't be emotional in it. Just say that you were wondering how he is doing and inquiring if he is OK.
See what happens after that.
Thanks for writing Dear Cabby and the best of luck to you both in maybe getting back together.
MLK
NYCabbie
I was reading some of the comments on you site under the Dear Cabbie section and came across the one that thought your photos could have been done by a 3 year old with a pinhole camera... obviously not a photographer Well as a amateur photographer who sells his photos at art shows I think your photography is unique and interesting and has given me ideas to explore...Great site....
John
Help me i cant find a real man the only guys i find are either butt ugly taken gay or complete dicks. whats wrong with me help christine
..........negative thinking maybe??????????
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby
I have been in therapy for over 5 years with the same therapist, Maryann. Maryann gave me a referral to a lawyer, Annie, so that I could have my wills done. Annie is also a very good friend of Maryann's. I end up hitting it off with Annie when I meet with her several times and we become friends. My relationship with Annie has gone on for about 8 months now. However, my therapist has told Annie that basically this situation of our being friends is very uncomfortable for her, because she is my therapist. She says that we should not have become friends, because she referred her on a professional basis only, but she knew that we had become friends from the beginning. She says that their is a boundary conflict because of the friendship, but I haven't spoken about Annie in therapy at all, except to say that we had become friends. Anyhow, Maryann tells Annie in a subtle way that she basically has to choose between her ten-year friendship with her or the 8-month friendship with me.
What do you think of this?
Tim
Sounds to me like the therapist needs a therapist more than you do.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby
I am currently going thru a divorce with my wife.Would it be appropriate for me to give my girlfriend a diamond ring and ask that she marry me when the divorce becomes final.
John
John,
No one can separate a fool from his folly!
MLK
NYCabbie
I've wondered for a long time, but have yet to find an answer - why do all NY City Metered Cabs have a yellow round reflector on the left side on the back of their trunks?
I need to know!
Thanks, and great site by the way!
-- Mahesh
Hello Mehesh,
Wonder no more.
Actually, that yellow reflector on the front and the back of the yellow cabs is not a reflector at all but a light.
It's called a "Trouble Light."
If a cab driver is having a problem with a passenger (or whatever) he/she clicks on his "Trouble Light" from a switch under the dash. This light flashing alerts the police to pull the cab over and find out the problem.
It's a good idea only if there's a cop car close by when a cab is in trouble. But, more often than not it's; "Where are they when you need one"?
MLK
NYCabbie
How much should i tip a taxi driver, what range ? What is the norm of tipping in hotels?
Thanks Kevin
Hello Kevin,
Tipping is entirely up to you and what you can afford. One guideline I use when I take a taxi and I'm on the "giving end" is $1.00 minimum if the service was good. However, if the guy's rude or a jerk I have no qualms about not tipping him/her. If it's a long ride across Manhattan or into the outer Buroughs I add another dollar or two depending on the distance from where I was picked up.
Tipping in restaurants is usually 15% of the bill. Some people double the tax.
Tipping doormen or bellboys or baggage carriers is usually two to five dollars depending on their level of service and what you can afford.
MLK
NYCabbie
My question has to do with the smell of a cab driver. The other night I literally had to get out of a moving cab because I almost puked up my dinner . The driver stunk to high heaven. Is this something that you have to put up with. When he finally did stop the cab at my request (and before my final destination), the asshole wanted a tip. I told him the following is your tip, Take a Shower moron!!!! Is this proper protocol?
Regards,
Tired of Smelly cab rides
Dear Tired:
Protocol??? New York City Cab drivers??? You're not from here, right?
Why don't you try and take the subway next time. I can't guarantee it will smell any better but you definitely won't have to put up with it for so long.
MLK
NYCabbie
hello i need to find out were in new york city to get the best quality fake drivers license having trouble finding out anywere else since i do not live in nyc and i really need one would love a good tip thanks
Here's a good tip: Stay out of Jail!
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
How did the area called Hell's Kitchen get it's name?
Curious
The area around Times Square is called "Hell's Kitchen." The name was given to the area in the late 1870's or so, because it was one of the worst areas to live, in the sense of absolute poverty and a high crime rate. The name itself, however, actually came from what was at that time, an absolutely wretched restaurant that the locals called Hell's Kitchen. Eventually the name stuck to represent this horrible area. It was only in recent years that the area known as Hells Kitchen has been "cleaned-up." A few years ago, the residents wanted a different name so they re-named the area "Clinton" (nothing to do with the president).
But, it still has it's shady past. And, there are still a few places in Hell's Kitchen that are better to avoid, especially late at night ( or very early in the morning). When Times Square is busy with the theater and restaurant crowds there's no problem. And, the only way to really see Times Square is walk around a bit. It's truly impressive. Plus, you will have thousands of other people for company. However, if you go through the area after 12:00 a.m., or before dawn, take a cab.
Remember this poem, though: Be Aware In Times Square!
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
I just have a minute, but wanted to tell you I had a fantastic time in New York. I simply loved the place. I honestly believe all of the information you passed on to me helped it be such a good experience. I arrived with some confidence of what to do and where to go. That made all the difference.
Thanks again,
Tim
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH TERRIBLE PHOTOS IN MY LIFE. A TWO YEAR OLD CHILD WOULD TAKE BETTER PHOTOS WITH A PIN HOLE BOX.....JUNK
JCard35007
.......and?
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
We've been back now just over 16 hours. Wow what a holiday, the city as you said was fantastic. We saw all parts of Manhattan, from Grants tomb to South Street. We did have a problem with the cab driver when we came in from JFK, he tried to charge us $42.00 :-(((
Anyway I stuck to my guns thanks to your advice.
Regards And once again many thanks.
Stephen
Dear Cabby,
I am very worried about my friend. He laughes like a donkey after everything he says, slurps soup louder than anything I have ever heard and often wears his pants inside out. All these things drive me insane and I can't stand to be near him. I can't tell him cos he is prone to violent outbursts. What should I do.
Worried.
Hi Sheila,
Get him a saddle, a feedbag, and carry a whip. If he doesn't get the hint by that time maybe he really is a donkey and you just need an eye examination.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
I have a problem (no doubt!) how much time should I give my fella to make a commitment? He is getting his social security and other paper work straightened out before we get married. I figure this will take 6 months to a year. He got hurt setting up mobile homes, and one fell on him. We have been seeing each other for 4 years now. He got hurt last March. How long should I give him before I issue a ultimatum? Is this dear abbey or dear cabby? I Need a males point of view on this.
He's had 6 years -- give him 5 more minutes!
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
I am an 18 year old english girl and desperately need some advice on what to do about my man. The thing is i lent him £100 at the start of the university term and he's been promising to give it back for the past month. I wasn't too fussed before but i'm a poor student and it's nearly the end of term and i'm short on cash. The £100 would be very useful at the moment. But how do i ask him for the money without sounding like a bank?
Yours sincerely Hayley
Dear Hayley,
What's the matter with you, he owes you money. Ask him for it one more time... If you don't get the money, dump the loser
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
Thank you for ALL of your helpful information regarding New York. I think it will prove to be invaluable. You should see the little file I have put together with all of the information!!
Thank you, Cabby!!!
Dear Cabby,
I like to write and sing, and I do those things pretty well. The problem is that I can't write more then 2-3 pages per day, and I don't have any one that I can sing to. I'm very frustrated about this.
Please help me! The frustrated
Dear frustrated
Why not get a canary...then you can sing to each other.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
How large is NY City ....total miles. I can not find this info anywhere.
Thanks,
Tom
The entire NYC area is: 301 square miles 780 square kilometers
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
I'm a 26 year old female, and seem stuck in a situation. I've been working for my financial company for 2 years now, but hate where I live currently. It seems difficult to meet the right kind of men I am interested in the city I now live in. I'm doing very well in my position however, and was recently promoted. I accepted the position, but made it clear to my boss that this city is not where I want to settle down in. My friends are all urging me to move, probably cause there sick of listening to me. I know where I want to be...but I'm a little scared of making the final leap. I don't want to jeapordize anything with my job; however I plan on transferring. What does it take to get off the pot and make a big decision? Tracey
Dear Tracey,
No GUTS, No GLORY!!!!
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
Last summer I visited New York and enjoyed it very much. I especially liked your Statue of Liberty. We have one in our town square of Fred MacMurray, but it's not as big as yours. I live in a peaceful, friendly village that is quickly being ruined by developers. Now I am afraid my village will become like New York with all the building that is going on and I am having nightmares about it. I used to have nightmares about gorillas and chocolate cream pies but these are so much worse I don't even want to go to bed. Why do I feel this way? Do you think I was an Indian in a past life? What can I do to get some restful sleep?
A country girl from Hartland, WI
Dear Country Girl,
Move!
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
Do you agree that the Empire State Building is the most awesome building in the world--and that it is truly the "lighthouse" of Manhattan?
smooches!
Dear Smooches,
Yes, I agree with you. But, I must say one thing.
On close examination of the Chrysler building, I've been able to observe, very closely, the intricate detail of it's magnificent architecture. For example: did you know that much of it's exterior is directly related to cars ,i.e., the semi-circle lights at the top are supposed to be hubcaps, also, the eagles jutting out at the 4 corners are designed after hood ornaments which were very extravagant in the 1930's, when Chrysler had the building created. There was also, I believe, a bar at the top, which is now either a storage area, or rest room, which is closed to the public, but I'm sure has great views of the city.
Plus, take a close look at the Woolworth building downtown. Manhattan's first skyscraper. He was not accepted in New York"s high society because he was always associated with 5 & 10 cents stores, so he thought he would "show them all" just how much money he had and he built his "cathedral." If you look you will see it is designed after the beautiful spires of European cathedrals.
You can walk in the lobby and when you look-up you will see the incredible mosaics and "stained glass windows" reminiscent of a church.
Even in death, Woolworth, wanted to outshine the "upper crust," which rejected him. His huge crypt could house a small family. Not exactly a fun neighborhood, but a roof over one's head.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
Boy, what a great site this is--well done! It is a textbook of clarity, highly informational without being too dense, and it pertains in a knowing way to a reality of NYC (and lots of other places).
You're to be commended for your insight into a hard-working and undervalued asset of New York--the cabbies. I have certainly had my horizons expanded, and greatly enjoyed some rides I have had. Amazing information is to be had just by talking, and that never goes out of style. The great majority of these guys do a wonderful and steady job.
Of course, as an ex-professional driver (coast to coast 14 or 15 times) with a ticket to drive cars and buses, my most honest suggestion for all drivers is to behave professionally at all times, and to be a little more mellow. Back off now and again, for every body's sake.
Also, as a New Yorker, I should mention that I was hit by a cab at age 10--but I don't hold a grudge. We both had the green light at Lex and 65th. Great work on this!
Cheers--
Sam
Thanks for the "jump start"!
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
I have been smitten, online, by a NYC cabbie for about 6 months. He just really seems to be hesitant about any type of contact. He knows that I would be willing to fly up there and be his passenger for a few days, and I have made it clear that my home, here in this year-round summer climate, is always open to him. He won't bite. Are NYC cabbies so particular? Are they so unwilling to take chances? My patience is running thin. Please advise. Sign me "Hot to Tip"
Dear "Hot to Tip,"
Driving a Taxi is considered to be the most dangerous job in the world. So I don't think "taking chances" has anything to do with your problem. Maybe, just. maybe, you're a little to eager to take a ride.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
What happened to all the good looking, out of work actors that used to drive a lot of the taxis in NYC?
Looking for luv in all the Wrong Places
Dear "Looking,"
Have you checked the "unemployment lines" recently. You might give that a try.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
I just asked this girl out as a joke, and she thought it was serious. She is cute, and I like her very much only she used to be my best friend's girl. If I go out with her my friend will never speak to me again, if I don't I will not have a girlfriend. What should I do?
Dear You!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are a total of six ( I's) two (my's) and one (me) in your question. Think about it!
MLK
NYCabbie
Dear Cabby,
Why are New York taxis yellow?
Curious
Dear Curious,
1) The metered taxis were required to be yellow to distinguish them from the large influx of Gypsy Cabs sometime around 1950.
2) Supposedly, the reason yellow was chosen was that it is the color of caution signs, and can easily be seen at night.
3) In 1967, the city of New York made it a law that all medallion (metered) taxis must be painted yellow. Increasing the value of the medallion was their reason.
However, one of my own beliefs regarding the color yellow being used was somebody somewhere had warehouses full of yellow paint and sold the taxi industry on the idea of purchasing it.
MLK
NYCabbie
Dude, you make me proud to be a NYC cab driver. This is a great website. Keep up the good work and keep giving out that great taxi advice. Everybody knows cabbies are the smartest people. See ya out on the road. Keep safe my brother.
John
Dear Cabby,
I have tons of friends who visit from all over the world, and there is one question that I don't know the answer to: Why is NY called "The Big Apple"?
Thanx.
Stumped in NYC.
Dear "Stumped,"
In 1909, a writer first called New York the "Big Apple," comparing the city to a large tree which received a huge share of the national wealth.
In the 20's, it became a term used around the racetracks, i.e. New York was the "Big Time," the "Big Apple."
In the 30's and 40's, jazz musicians referred to the "Big Apple" as the best place to play a gig.
In the 50's and 60's, the term virtually disappeared.
It bounced back, full force, in the 1970's, when the New York Convention and Visitors' Bureau adopted the "Big Apple" as it's logo. The popularity then grew to what it is today; The "Big Apple" is New York City.
For the full story check-out the Museum of the City of New York's web site (under "frequently asked questions"), www.mcny.org
MLK
NYCabbie
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